Mastodon Michael Perry

Life’s little times

I think living in Cambodia has become a large moment made up of smaller ones that never end. Life seems idyllic at times and I forget what day it is. Other times A calls me and we plan on meeting for drinks and food. There is this timeless feeling to it all. We go together. We sleep together. We will soon live together.

What I’ve learned from my admittedly limited experiences is having a Khmer woman is the most lovely and sometimes frustrating experience. I used to joke with my Khmer friend Chet that all Asian women are stubborn. There are so many different sides of A’s life that are things I have never experienced. Poverty. Lack of food sometimes. Desire to be more but have less. Wanting to just care for a person that matters.

But still she has this almost childlike wonder at life. Things which seem simple at first glance make her erupt in laughter. Or tears. She tells me of her daughter at 18. Fears for her safety and desire to see her achieve.

All this creates my little moments. She accepts all I am. Asks for little back. Gives humor and warmth and a sensuous side I’ve missed. And she would say I needed. I agree.

This all teams up to make the moments that never end. That strips time away. That makes Cambodia timeless. I can just live every day. Be accepted as I am. I can’t change and she never asks. So different than my ex wife. She that demanded things like honesty but still lied and cheated.

Dear readers I am here to tell you we all need that wonderful person in our lives that has our back. Especially growing old. I’ve seen myself slip away from people and lost desire in relationships. I still only want few. The meaningful. Those that being happiness and joy.

Because in life’s little moments we need an abundance of both those things. Truly it is what life is about. Not measurements of tasks in apple reminders. Not projects to measure oneself against. Not winning or losing. But like this meditation coach would say,

Just Be

Source: Meditation Instructor Jeff

When we go for the folly and measure life by wins and losses or timescales or tasks or schedules we lose sight of the moments big or small. Instead we are little robots.

Don’t be a robot. Just be. Take a sunset in a new place. Like this.

February 4, 2023