From California to Siem Reap
Today Alin and I went out for our customary Khmer breakfast of noodles of some kind I really like and then some coffee. I had not heard from my daughter in a few days and it really causes Alin to ask me almost daily if I have heard from her. Alin is a mom and she thinks of my daughter as her daughter in just about all ways. Just like her daughter calls me Daddy when we talk. The sweetness and love of it never lessens as the days go by.
So after a few days, my daughter texted me back that she is fine and has met a young man that is good to her, does not make her cry, or have drug problems. It is a long way from here and many of her later life events have been with me gone. She’s suffered through relationships which have been damaging and demeaning in many ways. Just like one particular relationship I had with her mom. There is no comparison between my ex-wife and Alin. I had thought once before I would never find someone to love me and for me to hold and love again. It just seemed like years were going by and I was getting older yet I did not want some old white guy young asian woman thing. I see those here and there. The guy must be in his 60s and the woman in her 20s. It’s accepted here for the most part but my friend Jason heard comments when he appreciated a beautiful Khmer woman one day. Some stupid tourist told him he was too old. Too old.
I think those words echoed around for years in my head. When are we too old to have another in our lives? I would not marry another ever again but it does not lessen how much I feel love and respect and admiration for what I have. Alin is a wonderful, sexy, warm woman that gives me all back and has told me that her chief goal is to make me happy. I work at the same thing with her.
So too old is a boatload of crap and people should stay the F out of relationship or inter-personal things that they have no interest in. I think people sometimes look at Alin and I and have some thoughts but I would never put up with any words and she gets mad and will cuss someone out in Khmer for any statement on any anything that she feels insults or demeans us.
For my part, like I told my daughter, I never thought I would find someone and she had said in September last year when I lamented not finding someone,
when you stop looking for someone Daddy that is when you will find her
Truly a wonder that it happened that way for both of us. From California to Siem Reap.
Yesterday I took this photo at our pool with this beautiful baby only six weeks old. Families here are tough and resilient and people love the connections. That too is markedly different than the California connection. We also have talked about that and it puzzles her how families just have fallen apart while here they are strong. Alin is smart though. Life smart and she knows we all operate on different threads.
The reality though like my daughter said,
I found someone too that treats me well
And that is the thread of the connection from California to Siem Reap I wished to write about this morning.