Mastodon Michael Perry

4am and it rains

Well thunders and booms. And I’m awake. Sleep seems optional sometimes to me. Like I get what I get and that’s it. In about 40 minutes alin will take her medicine. That’s always the dividing line and most often divides my early morning into wanting more sleep but realizing it’s a losing battle.

Yesterday I did the mindfulness things which make me feel good. I have this pattern or regularity. I love walking mornings here so will often do a few miles. It’s hot though so I really sweat. Then a cool shower and pool time.

I most often do some room time after and then yoga. I enjoy these asanas I have learned over the years. Relaxing and easing the old body to places not painful or hurting. Somewhere with it where life seems to enrich and become this longer wonderful stretch.

Finally is meditation on just being. I settled on this because it’s the cheapest and easiest. No breath counts. Thoughts travel in and out freely but none are asked to stay. I’m just the person who takes them and let’s them go.

When I think on the three things with thunder booming this morning I realize this is my pattern of life. Like my container never full or empty. Alin sleeping next to me. Life just is. It is how it’s meant to be. Sleeping or not. 4am plus some this morning.

Perhaps I’ll rest until 5am. Medicine time. Will I sleep more? Doubtful. The alarm is set. Medicine now and then. Sometimes I feel her body in sleep. Soft and yielding yet so warm. How is it I went so long without sleeping with someone?

Not gonna worry on that either. All three practices I do say to just be with it. But I am only human. And it’s a practice not an end. So I dwell on this wonder. At 430am.

Yeah. Life.

April 26, 2023