I woke up this morning feeling that 42 days left thing. I was thinking a lot out walking yesterday buying the new shoes and getting an iPhone MagSafe case that my time here is basically done. In so many days, I will go to Southeast Asia. A year ago I wondered how it would all play out when I left Vietnam after almost two years. I realized then I had to go. A failed business endeavor, changes to visa laws, and I think a basic desire to just go. I did not realize the last until I read my Day One journal entries for last year at this time when I had just left. Seems amazing what a year can do.
The last year saw me finding a place I really enjoyed but then realizing it could also not be some concept of home. Because I am basically homeless. I lost the security and stability of a home actually over 10 years ago and it felt good. I think basically having nothing means there are no ties to a place or a thing or people even. I had felt that perhaps, just perhaps, Mexico or Costa Rica or Panama could become something to replace it. They cannot. For many reasons I have elaborated on the blog before. I am not made to be tied down, settled, or feel like I have ties to some place. If I did I doubt in the end Mexico or any other places would offer me home. The word seems almost ambivalent to me bearing in mind these walls now disappear in 42 days when I board AeroMexico for SFO. Then 3 days later those walls disappear for Cambodia. I also know deep down Cambodia will not last and neither will Asia.
In 2020 I built this trip to see Egypt, Morocco, Turkey and end in Dubai and then back to Cambodia. I would have sailed the River Nile on a tour excursion. Seen the pyramids, found myself in a market in Istanbul. Saw where Asia and Europe meet up. All that disappeared due to a few things. One was our national disgrace of a president then. Trump basically scared me with his bully boy populism but then the covid pandemic came to be and I ended up changing the plans to travel across the US on Amtrak. Yeah. Another dream which came to be. It would turn out in retrospect I would do Amtrak train travels twice. Once in 2020 almost both ways across the US. In 2021, I focused down on a few train routes I had not done but I wanted to go at old retired guy pace. I bought the USA RailPass and went at a pace that meant I could stop at 5 places for days each and end in Chicago and then back west again.
I bring this last up because there is this forever desire in me to just go and I want that. Where it leads or I end up is not so important as the going. It has dawned on me I am going the opposite way. Away from Southeast Asia. I also thought what would be the purpose next year to simply return? I don’t know that one. It ain’t next year.
So Ray there is a blogpost on train travels I think. I have the notes and photos and I think in true Winnie the Pooh nature it was a grand adventure. But like the bear says,
Each thing takes leaving or walking away from but the getting part is always what I have wanted. Not the arrival.
The new week reprised
So a new week folks. New words to be bandied about. Just not so many more weeks left in Merida and Mexico. For that I am grateful and sad. I realized after June I could not simply set up some kind of home here either.
And what else could I want from a new adventure?